Unintentional hiatus 

Well…so much for writing everyday, or doing this whole 30 day challenge thing. It’s pretty apparent I’ve failed miserably. 

Let’s all take a moment and laugh together.😑

Life happened. I unintentionally took a 4 month hiatus, it might have been because of the unexpected twists and turns life beautifully flows in or lack of motivation..probably a bit of both to be honest. There is and has been so much change surrounding me, so much uncertainty, all of which is uncomfortable but what gets to me the most is what comes with it: the anxiety of not knowing

It leaves me in the dark with no clear path, no real direction, kind of blindly walking in whatever direction seems right at the time. 

This same thought always takes me back to the first burn I attended. 

 It was held in Texas, on memorial day weekend. The summer heat was scorching, we were camping and it had to be the second or third day of the trip, by this time we had all given up trying to upkeep the illusion society imposes on us. No more social norms, politically correct answers, or preconceived notion of who we were supposed to be, relieving the stress that most unnecessary and at times unintentionally carry to social situations. This open environment caused the normal annoying insecurities to slowly vanish. 

The kicker was: once there, I came to the realization that anxiety and worry are a waste of precious time, and It’s ok to be exactly as different as you were naturally intended to be. 

Being unique was celebrated and embraced fully, beauty was seen in diversity and encouraged. We were all kind of just happily existing, whatever that may have meant to each individual. We felt as though we were finally at home, a soft, cozy accepting community to be amongst, in the mist of the turbulent reality we live in.

I remember sitting outside our campsite on this particular day with not much on my mind. There was no phone reception, no communication with the world and honestly not much to think or worry about. As I was blankly starring out, observing everything and everyone around me, a tree directly in front of me caught my attention. At first I saw the tree as a whole, as I usually would but the more I focused in, the more every detail came to life. My attention slowly started shifting to the darkness surrounding each individual branch and leaf alike, and as I was continued to sit there aimlessly starring out, it put “darkness” into perspective. 

It reminded me that when surrounded by darkness, or what we perceive as a dark situations, actually isn’t darkness at all, rather an empty space alloted to each one of us which gives us an opportunity to grow. 

It’s mother nature’s way of giving us space to figure out what our hearts true desires are while letting us create it in our own way, without any confinement. No particular mold or pattern to follow, it gives us complete freedom to spread out and be exactly who we were divinely intended to be. Of course, it also made me realize why the darkness around us is so terrifying. This darkness does not only signify freedom, it also implies full responsibility for what we create in this space given to us. Each individual is their own masterpiece, and even though it seems frightening not knowing what path to traverse, it’s also part of the excitment and magnificence of being alive. 

I love the Universe for giving me the opportunity to occupy this space and time, even through the uncomfortable twists and turns. Life is a trip, a mindfuck, a psychedelic journey, a lucid dream. It’s everything you can imagine and it’s all real.

No matter how hectic things may seem, remember to take a deep breath, slow it down and enjoy the ride.❤ 

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30 Day Challenge – Day 8

Day 8 – 5 Current Goals

  1. Enroll, follow through, and graduate with at least an undergraduate degree in Entrepreneurship, and possibly a minor in journalism/mass communications. I’d like to pursue a career in either Business Consulting/Reporting and eventually start up my own company [5yr plan] 
  2. Pass the registry exam for non- invasive Cadiovascular Sonography, I’ve procrastinated long enough
  3. Teach my dogs another trick besides “sit”
  4. Being more proactive and consistent with my writing, instead of constantly pushing it down my priority list
  5. Read a minimum of 12 books per yr 😄✌

30 Day Challenge – Day 7

Day 7 – Your 5 Favorite Songs 

It’s difficult to narrow it down to 5, but again, these are the first songs that came to mind and are in no particular order. 😊

  1. Tomorrow Shakey Graves . Well anything by Shakey is gold, but this along with Bullies lament, word of mouth, roll the bones and Dearly Departed, the duo with Esme Patterson are my favs 😍💍
  2. Juicy Notorious B.I.G.  Not only a classic but also one of my all time favorites
  3.  Just what I am– “God, take my fate to wherever you want…
    Early in the morning, I’m wakin’ bakin’, drinkin’, contemplatin’
    Ain’t no such thing as Satan, evil is what you make it”Kid Cudi is a fucking genius 
  4. Crooked Smile –  J. Cole
  5. The show goes on – Lupe Fiasco 

30 Day Challenge – Day 6

 

30 Day ChallengeDay 6 – What Are you afraid of

I’m afraid of a few things but these are the first 3 things that came to mind, in no particular order.

1. I’m afraid of heights, but because it’s usually accompanied with a beautiful view, I’m able to get over it.

2. I’m afraid of rolling a blunt/joint/ or loading a bowl & not being able to find a lighter or even worse finding a lighter and then realizing there’s no snacks & no way to get any …terrifying 😱

3. I’m afraid of grasshoppers because I thought one bit me when I was 9, & haven’t liked them ever since.

30 Day Challenge – Day 5

Day 5- Your proudest moment 

The proudest moment I’ve had recently is actually starting this blog, for many reasons but mostly because it has forced me to get out of my comfort zone and put my thoughts on display for everyone to see. It opens me up to advise and criticism alike, which at times causes me anxiety but thankfully has been more rewarding than anything else. Its given me a platform to create and express myself freely without letting fear of judgment hold me back. That in itself, is an achievement in my eyes.

I’ve always enjoyed writing, it’s extremely relaxing and comes naturally to me but I never would have thought I’d have the courage to share my ideas publicly. Although, I don’t think I could have done it without the confidence 1 or 2 of friends gave me to try something new when I was contemplating writting this blog. It’s a work in progress, and even though it’s still in the beginning stages, I’m proud that I’ve come this far. 😊✊

Quick Rant 

One of my biggest pet peeves is hearing about someone’s business IF the person isn’t present or if it’s not coming directly from themselves. I can’t stand to be a part of gossip, I honestly don’t care and is probably why I’m reserved and more of private person in general.

My rule of thumb has always been if it isn’t my business then I won’t spread it. Not only will I not know all the facts, but if someone tells me something in confidence they probably only wanted me to know not everyone who’s around me so to avoid all the confusion, I’d rather let that person do the talking for themselves.

30 Day Challenge – Day 4

Day 4- Your dream job

I actually don’t know what my dream job is. I do know that it would involve traveling, writing, and adventure! I’d love to be my own boss and have the freedom to choose my availability and price tag, something that doesn’t require a monotonous routine but rather offers variety and excitement.

Even though I strive to be my own boss, if I ever have the opportunity to work for the TV network Viceland [Vice] as a journalist or anything similar, I would take it in a heart beat. I support what they represent and are trying to expand on, which to me is acceptance and unity. Most of their programing is very forward in thinking, as well as bold and not to mention at times taboo. For those reasons among a few others, It would be a dream come true to have the chance to incorporate my creativity and ideas to their already fast growing movement. One day.

Quick poetry 

It’s 5:45 am and I can’t sleep

Late night thought start to creep

I have to be up early, so I might as well get going

Being well rested is an illusion, we all try to keep

Nope, we’re not allowed to be tired or have a bad day

Not around here, no way

Silly rhetoric keeps my day at bay

Flowing rhythmically, it offers a quick smirk within waves of uncertainty

I have a busy day ahead me, time to get up and start moving

Time waits for no one

Not for you

Not even me